There’s no judgment or accusation nor malice in what I say

I only ask this simple question that haunts me every day.

How was I supposed to try and fall in love with me?

When do more, be more, have more was what you asked of me.

An endless game of striving, always told to keep improving

Feeling ever disappointed as the goalposts kept on moving.

But standing firm and true and grounded, feeling secure in my own skin

Didn’t make you as much money as me dying to be thin.

With my total lack of confidence my loss became your gain

With my self disgust and loathing your goal just fuelled my pain.

So, I ask this simple question in the hope that you can see

The problem at the heart of this comes from you and not from me.

Because all that I had searched for and all that I “should be”

Was waiting there already it was just inside of me.